How to read more often even if you have lots of kids and no time
The din of suppertime has quieted, leaving behind a mess of dishes and food remnants. The children have dispersed, eager to play (and avoid being roped into washing said dishes). The older ones skirt, as they say, to their rooms (and avoid said dishes).
I should start tidying up. I should call the kids back to help.
I breathe in the calm. But then it won’t be quiet anymore.
It’s Friday evening and I. Am. Done.
Once I hit that couch, I know I won’t be moving for awhile, so I grab a novel and plop into the cushions.
Lock the door and hide if you need to. Just come out before TOO long. Photo credit: Margo Santoso
Never enough time to read
The start of a new year brings us a lot of reading advice. Some is very practical. A few headlines make me roll my eyes, just a little.
How I read 300 books this year.
How I read over 100 books and still have a life.
I’m 16 months into a solo-parenting gig and I have 5 kids, so I don’t really have a life. Just to set some clear expectations here.
Even so, I’ve read over 15 books this year (off the top of my head). That’s not counting picture books, blog posts, online magazines and snippets of non-fiction books that I return to again and again, but never quite finish
This list will not make you a reading powerhouse. It may help you:
Get started on that novel you’ve been wanting to read
Remember the title you wanted to read the next time you go to Indigo or the library
Choose reading over screens a little more often
Sit and finish an entire cup of tea while reading an enjoyable story (and not feel guilty about it!)
Image by Chris Benson on Unsplash
How I read way less than 100 books this year, but still more than you’d expect
I’m convinced reading is a good use of my time
Reading is one of my favourite ways to unwind. When I’m really drained, I turn to Netflix. I’ve really enjoyed a few series, but I’ve also noticed this can quickly start to feel like numbing.
Also, there’s the thing about not being on screens right before bed.
Turns out, reading legit decreases stress levels. A 2009 study from the University of Sussex showed reading is a more effective relaxation technique than listening to music or sipping tea. It decreased cortisol levels up to 68%! (cited in Holding the Fort Abroad podcast)
I avoid responsibility
That Friday night I just described? The kids watched too much screen time and stayed up too late, but I finished my book.
Sometimes balance means trading how much you’ll pay tomorrow for taking the rest you need today!
No, it’s not what I aspired to as a new mom, but sometimes, you JUST need a break.
I read light, enjoyable, quick reads
When fiction is gripping, I want to binge read. As I actually cannot neglect my kids for days on end (See #2), I choose YA, not 1000-page epics. With a lighter read, I get my fix, unwind, and I’m fortified to face the dishes and the chaos again.
I’m living in my season
a.k.a. I stopped listening to the productivity gurus.
“If you want to be extraordinary/ impressive/ successful, you need to consume education not entertainment,” they say.
Have you heard that one before? They’re not wrong, and yes, many of us spend too much time on entertainment. This advice guided my choices on what I read and watched for several years.
But not this year. Here’s why.
This is not my year for being impressive. These days, extraordinary does not mean stretch goals or building some fancy new business. Extraordinary is less lofty. Extraordinary is having clean clothes and supper without being so grumpy and depleted that I’m no use to anyone.
There is always place for a good story. Reading stories reduces stress (See #1) and help us make sense of our world and the people in it.
Stories help us process. Have you ever had a movie just crack you open? I mean, the story line warranted a few tears or eyes welling up, but you respond by just sobbing your guts out?
Something resonated with your own story. Your loss. Your frustrations and hopes.
That. That is something educational pieces can’t touch.
And it’s something we all need as we continue to re-engage with life after the isolation, fear and fury, losses and misunderstandings of the past few years. Don’t get me wrong, I love to learn. My brain is just a little maxed out in this season.
I don’t need to feel pressured to be setting BIGGER GOALS. My goal right now is to survive this final month of solo parenting. Once the fog lifts, I’ll come up with a more ambitious goal. Just keeping everyone fed and not burned out is extraordinary enough for the moment.
When the kids are away, the parents will play read
This 18 month job contract has Jamie away 10-11 of every 14 days (excepting vacation time). His visits home are heavy on family time, but I also usually take a few hours to myself to sleep or read or, I don’t know, shave my legs for a change.
Choose book titles (and formats) that fit your season of life. Photo credit Clem Onojeghuo
Making it work in real life
I listen
I “read” audiobooks with just one AirPod in, so I can hear if the boys’ playing turns to brawling.
I love having an audiobook cued up for the afternoons spent shuttling children between activities. I listen while doing laundry, dishes, simple cooking, and cleaning. (Also, I neglect duties that require me to stop listening. See #2.)
Our 10 year old loves an audiobook at bedtime. He listens while unloading the dishwasher or just laying in bed. I’m often putting younger ones to bed at that time.
Our 14-year-old puts on her headphones and ignores the rest of us while she powers through another story.
I listen while cooking, walking, waiting in airports or during long drives
There are some fantastic narrators out there! Some of our faves have been:
YA The Lunar Chronicles series by Marissa Meyer.
The Divergent Series (YA) by Vanessa ,
The Ascendance series by Jennifer A Neilsen—probably best for ages 8-13, but I enjoyed them, too.
An adult, murder mystery option—Louise Penny’s Inspector Gamache series is fantastic! Her novels have such a sense of place—the anglophone and francophone culture of Montréal and the Eastern townships, community, art, food, weather, landscape—and all these things shape her characters. Also, fantastic award-winning narration on the first ten novels. (He died, sadly. Jury’s still out on the new narrator. Language warnings—there is swearing in both French and English.)
NOTE: I’ve found audio books for younger children have not worked so well for us. The audio book version of a picture book might only last 5-10 minutes. It could work if you also have the physical book and your child follows along. Some stories are too dependent on the pictures to make a great audio book.
2. I keep a book at the ready
Sometimes it’s a physical book, sometimes just an e-book on my phone. On the rare occasion that I am early to pick up a child, I can read a bit.
3. I keep a TBR (to be read) list
When my husband asked what I wanted for Christmas, I checked the TBR list in my Trello app and texted him some titles.
By Christmas morning, I had completely forgotten both the title and why I wanted to read it!
Months before, a friend had mentioned TATTOOS ON THE HEART and I had jotted it in my Trello app. I’m so glad I did because Gregory Boyle’s stories about Homeboy Ministries in LA and homies he has known in his 30 plus years in that neighborhood.
Anne Lamott calls it “An astonishing book…about suffering and dignity, death and resurrection, one of my favorite books in years. It is lovely and tough and tender beyond my ability to describe and left me in tears of both sorrow and laughter.” If Anne Lamott says it’s “beyond her ability to describe”, who am I to try? It’s good. And hopeful. And it’ll probably make you cry.
4. I set a timer
For me this works best with non fiction. I want to read, but need to get things done. I set a timer for 10-20 minutes and read with my coffee before moving on to more urgent matters.
5. I have books on hold
I don’t always have time to browse at the library or in an app, so I put books on hold.
My Libby app currently has 9 audiobooks on hold! (Only two are for me.) They will pop up in my app when they become available and disappear after 21 days.
We also put physical books on hold at the library. It takes less than five minutes for me to run in, take the book off the hold shelf, and sign it out.
If reading is rejuvenating for you, but you just can’t seem to find the time, try one of these in the next two days. Start really small. We’re not aiming to read a whole novel, just put it on hold, so it’ll be ready for you when you have a moment to enjoy it!
Remember reading is a great stress reliever. It’s a good use of your precious time.
Shirking responsibilities can be a good investment if you feel refreshed after!
Read something lighter than your usual if you’re tight on time.
Live in your season. It’s okay if that means you don’t read much right now, too.
Be intentional about how you use those pockets of child-free time. If reading is important to you, do that.
——
Listen to audiobooks. Cue one up so it’s ready to go when you cook or walk or drive.
Put that book you’ve been meaning to read within reach of your favourite seat or by your bed.
Decide on one place to record all the books people mention that interest you. It could be the Notes app in your phone, or the Trello app, a Google file, or a little notebook. Just don’t hide it in a journal entry you won’t read again for six years.
Use a timer. If you can only do 10 minutes, make the most of it.
Put a book on hold so you don’t need to think about it later.
Here’s to reading a little more!
Further Inspiration to Get you Reading
“There’s a reason it was illegal to teach slaves to read. There is a reason that every totalitarian regime has burned and banned books. Knowledge is power.” Ryan Holliday gives 8 reasons why we should read and 7 suggestions on how to read more.
An interview with an award winning audiobook narrator, Robin Miles - read it here
Anne Bogel is the authority on reading recommendations. She’ll help you know if a title is one you’re likely to love. Here are a few recommendations from her:
He favourite Audio books of 2022
Novels with female leads in STEM (Science, Tech, Engineering, Maths)
My friend Rhoda learned several ways to decrease her stress levels after experiencing a burnout a couple years ago. Reading is just one. She shares her lessons learned in this podcast episode of Holding the Fort Abroad. Listen here or in you podcast app.