Is travel with kids worth it? 7 lasting benefits of family travel
Inside: If you think your travel plans need to wait until you’re an empty nester, consider the benefits of family travel. Here are 7 big benefits to appreciate and a few pitfalls to avoid.
Our taxi turns a corner and our three-year-old squeals. She can’t read much but, this word, she knows—Disney!
Returning from vacation to our current home in South Korea, we had a layover in Hong Kong. We arranged one night at the Disney hotel as a surprise.
Our daughter spends a delightful two or three hours greeting Pooh Bear and Princesses and spinning in tea cups. (Hong Kong Disney is much smaller than its American counterparts and that is perfect for a preschooler!)
It’s a magical day magical couple of hours.
Earlier the same day
The view was stunning, but my attention was elsewhere.
Photo by Moosla Haseem on Unsplash
Fragrant tropical air wafted in the open door on our balcony. The green of the palms contrasting the bright turquoise of the sea.
But I wasn’t looking at any of that. I was staring into the toilet bowl, having awoken to the worst food poisoning I have ever had. Before or since.
This was just hours before our flight from Malaysia to Hong Kong, where all incoming passengers were being tested for fever and any sign of the H1N1 virus, which was in its hey day.
After a rather stressful airport experience—Could I fly? What if I couldn’t make it to the restroom?—the flight went fine. I was too dehydrated to be sick anymore. A doctor checked me at arrivals and agreed that my particular ailment was something briefer and more violent than H1N1. After a short delay, he allowed me entry.
So, as Daddy and our three-year-old romped around Disney, the baby and I napped. No longer ill, only depleted, needing sleep and fluids.
You may be thinking - So, Colleen, is this seriously supposed to make me want to travel?! I just want you to pause and think about WHY you want to travel and what you expect. Nothing ruins a trip faster than unrealistic expectations.
I do believe the benefits outweigh the hassles, but there will be hassles!
Your family will make wonderful memories together, but they may not be the ones you expect.
There is no such thing as a perfect trip. There won’t even be one perfect day on a trip. But there will be deeply wonderful, meaningful moments and lots of learning to roll with the punches.
“Like most things, travel is something you can get better at with practice”
Sibling bonds
Sisters
Siblings who, back home, might be indifferent to each other—or even adversarial—are suddenly on the same team. They have each other as companions and friends and co-sojourners in this strange, new place. They pick up a set of memories and vocabulary of their very own.
“Ciao!” my daughter calls behind her as she closes the car door and heads to school. Her little brother, just learning to speak, has never lived in a place where Ciao means goodbye. So he pipes up, “Mooo!” Every day. For months.
These little quirks bond our family in a particular way. Croissants are called medialunas in our house. Sushi is usually referred to as gimbap (even when it’s not).
There is something special about being an outsider to a new place with your family.
When we first arrived in Argentina our girls were both approaching birthdays. They were turning seven and five. Imaginative play is a big part of little girl life at that age and their Spanish was not yet up to the task.
So they played together—hours of My Little Pony with some larger gaucho (cowboy) horses thrown in. Sometimes, the ponies were in a fort in their bedroom. Sometimes, they visited the playground. Eventually their Spanish developed enough to explain the details of their imaginary world to their new friends. Until then, they played with each other. A lot more than they ever did at home.
Adaptability - learning to not fear change
“When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.”
When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.
—Clifton Fadiman
Scott Mauntz’s identifies, from the research, “a fear of change [as] one of the single most career limiting moves you can make”.
Travel puts us in new environments where we practice adapting to change. With practice, we and our children grow in confidence that we can actually handle new things.
We learn strategies for coping with the unexpected. It’s a lot of work, yes. It’s also rewarding.
An important note about change
What we don’t want is to thrust change onto our children without warning and without them feeling any control at all. My friend attended over a dozen different schools before finishing high school. No wonder she’s a fan of predictable routines! It’s important, where possible, to include your children in discussions about trips and, especially, relocating.
No, they do not have veto power over a move, but sharing plans as they are being made can help. Show them photos of the area you are moving to, the potential schools, home(s), and the bedroom that will be theirs.
They will have a better sense of what to expect and will feel part of the process so they can practice becoming adaptable, too. When they feel they have no say and no control, they are more apt to cling to the familiar and be closed off to new experiences.
Whether it’s a move or a trip, let children choose a restaurant or a special outing. When kids they have input, they buy in. And when they buy in, the whole trip goes better for everyone!
Ability to communicate
“When kids have input, they buy in. And, when they buy in, the whole trip goes better for everyone!”
Like any good Canadian, upon my return from living in Asia, I frequented Tim Hortons. I found myself using gestures to emphasize my selections from the menu to the English-speaking cashier (who probably thought I was an idiot.) My limited Korean had taught me to rely on non verbal communication when clarification was needed.
Children figure out non verbal communication even faster. And they develop an ear for languages as they are exposed to them.
More important, they are more comfortable with making that extra effort to communicate with those who do not share their language. Travel is an opportunity to “…start learning the tools for developing meaningful relationships, especially across differences, from an early age," says Dr. Robin Hancock, a global education specialist with Bank Street College, cited in a Travel + Leisure article by Alison Fox.
Caring as global citizens
It’s hard to care much about people from other countries when those places are just concepts on a map. But when you have been to the city beaches of Busan or the island nations of the South Pacific, rising sea levels mean something more concrete.
When you have friends in Argentina, you pay attention to inflation levels and economic and political changes.
Empathy for newcomers
Watching my four-year-old play by herself in the schoolyard tugged at my heart strings. She was new and couldn’t yet communicate with her peers. They spoke Spanish. She did not. And that was tough.
A few months later, she had friends and play dates and was beginning to communicate quite well in her new language.
I see my girls now, as the local students at an international school, welcoming those who are new to this place. I think that experience of being the new kid helps them be more aware when others are in that situation. I know I am more aware because of it.
Packing skills
Packing is a skill
Our teen girls can pack for a weekend in one backpack and on 20 minutes notice. Give them a little longer, and they can be packed for a multi-week trip, still in one carry on or backpack. This is not typical teenager behaviour. This is the result of years of practice!
Memories
Of course, we want to make memories when we travel.
Our daughter is now 16 and, while visiting Disney Hong Kong gives her a certain distinction, the memories she brings up most often aren’t princesses or Pooh Bear. It’s, “Remember how I locked myself in the bathroom at that resort?” And “Remember how I peed down Daddy’s back when he gave me a shoulder ride back from Disney?” And “Remember how [her little sister] cried when Goofy and Minnie Mouse came over to our table?”
Caution: avoid these traps
“There is no such thing as a perfect trip. There won’t even be one perfect day. But there will be deeply wonderful, meaningful moments of family connection and making memories together.”
Travel comes with a lot of benefits, but there are a few traps that can derail the best travel plans. Be sure to avoid these.
Trap #1 Unrealistic expectations
Leave these at home. They are far too heavy. (This is true in daily life, too!)
Nothing ruins a trip faster than unrealistic expectations.
Remember there is no such thing as a magical trip. Just magical moments.
Expect things to go wrong. Leave space in your schedule so a delay or a much needed nap won’t derail your entire trip. (e.g. Leave about 4 hours for connecting international flights. Better to wait an hour or two than to miss a connection.)
Trap #2: Comparison
First, don’t compare to social media. We have this natural tendency to compare our worst to another person’s best. No wonder we come up short!
Don’t compare your experience to someone else’s Instagram feed. Social media never shows you at your worst. Even if you don’t stage your photos and you really, genuinely value authenticity, your worst moments still aren’t going to make it onto social media. (Nor should they.)
There are very practical reasons why social media only captures the more polished moments in our days. I mean, who has time for posting online when a kid is puking on them?! Who stops and says, “Just hold on a moment, sweetheart. We’ll clean you up after we snap a quick pic”? No one!
Second, don’t compare yourself to someone who has obviously travelled far more than you. Yes, they seem to know what they are doing better than you do. It’s because they made mistakes and have done more reps than you.
Like most things, travel is something that you can actually get better at, with practice. If you’re a beginner, don’t compare to an expert. Learn from them, sure. But don’t compare.
To sum up- some deep & lasting benefits of family travel
Sibling bonds—siblings grow deeper friendships when they explore together.
Adaptability—as you and your children explore new places, you learn to adapt and be less intimidated by change.
Ability to communicate—children learn new language skills and become adept at non verbal communication.
Caring as global citizens—awareness of others lands feeds interest and caring in what happens elsewhere.
Empathy for newcomers—after being the new kid, children are more apt to notice and welcome other newcomers, and have patience as they learn our local language.
Packing skills—this is a skill!
Memories—what would travel be without making memories?
Get out there!
So, go ahead and plan that trip! Show your child that other people live differently and speak differently. Learn from other cultures and their people and history.
If this isn’t the year for travel, take a smaller trip outside your usual route. Look at maps. Talk about other places—where you’ve been, where your ancestors lived, where a classmate’s family moved from. Visit another part of town. Try a new food and read up on its country of origin. Why are those ingredients popular in food from that place?
Learning and exploring can happen close to home, too.
So, go on and make some memories of magical moments. Adapt to new places or meet some new people. Yes, you’ll have some missteps, but it will all make for a good story later. “Remember when…?” your kids will ask, and you’ll all laugh together.